Rants

My mistakes

I don’t know what it feels like to be safe and contented with what I have. Even though things are probably going well and steady, I always end up thinking something will go wrong every time I get the chance to. Lately when I close my eyes all ready to sleep, my thoughts would drift on to the good things that have been happening to me lately but sometimes it drifts off to the past, making me remember my mistakes, what I lacked, what I couldn’t do that made me lose everything I had with someone important. They say it’s okay, you’ll learn from your mistakes but I cant help but wish that it never happened because all it does is torment me. I wish I can forget but I can’t. I want to move on but these memories are keeping me down. Recently someone has outstretched their hand for me once again. I’m scared. I grabbed it, he’s holding on to me but when he let’s go I’m done for. I’m still young, yeah but that doesn’t matter. Not all people are willing to save me from this hell hole that I am in. If he let’s me go, I’ll fall even deeper than the last. I’ll be all alone again… I don’t want that… It’s dark there. The deeper I fall, the slimmer the light seems to me and no matter how many hands try to reach me, I won’t be able to take it anymore. He’s special to me. Truth to be told, many tried to reach me. I took his hand by chance… I think It was barely outstretched at first to be honest but I’m glad. Even after all this ranting I started feeling better after thinking about you. I’m sure you won’t let me go without a good reason and at the same time, I’ll hold on to you as much as I can. There is only one of you in this world and at this moment I can truly say that you’re all I need… and Mr. Chubbybun’s picture.

#SQUATSFORJOEY · Rants

Bear with me

Okay. Girls are emotional we all know that especially on their red week. Even I can get bitchy but not usually. Right now I’m feeling really clingy and even more emotionally attached than usual like not wanting you to go anywhere even though I know having you sleep all day is unhealthy. I’ve been wanting more kisses (you give me a lot so I’m in a good mood in that area) but yeah this feeling is sidjiasfhafnaufhafij I’ve been feeling sleepy a lot during the day too which is great cause I get to take naps with you which is nice. I JUST FEEL LIKE BEING AFFECTIONATE AF. I even started the lyrics thing, pretty nice though. Saying Hi is normal but now it feels like I’m leaving a little note containing what I’m feeling for you at the start of the day. I’m such a romantic I think I’m making you cringe. Sorry not sorry 😉