NS & AM · Rants

Goodbye, Mr. Smith.

I should’ve posted it months ago since It was over months ago but I got too lazy to check my blog so here it is, oh so late. Better late than never.

I had originally planned to post everything to remind me of the good times we had together during these 3 years as I had thought that we would be staying together for a long time but I guess it’s a good thing that I hadn’t. We had some fun times but now that I look back, they weren’t really anything that special… you went to me only for the fun times but a relationship doesn’t exist only for the fun times but also for the bad times for both of us to share. You didn’t really share most of your personal life with me either. I didn’t want to force you because I knew you weren’t that type of person but I had figured that you would at least have an urge to video or voice call me since we have been together for 3 years and such. Till the end that wasn’t the case and it was still me who had to bring up the topic of voice calling again just to be able to hear you and that happened at the 3rd year of being together.

I love you I really do, I never imagined that it would be me that would end it, not in a million years but because of a friend I got a wake up call and basically realized how much I’ve been missing out on life and how much things I haven’t got the chance to experience while I’m with you. If It’s on effort, we did well on the 1st year but I have to point out that It really felt like It was just me throughout the 2nd to the 3rd. The moment I saw you unfriend me after the breakup honestly, I felt a bit sad but nothing would change If I were to chase you around once more. In the end it would always just be me again. At the very least, thank you for not making me feel like I was alone sometimes, even though we had short conversations, the times that you would reply to me were the times that made me happy the most.

I love you, I loved you, I wish you would’ve looked my way properly even with the distance. I would’ve done anything to be able to go to your side and stay with you but you didn’t feel that same way. You were my foolish first love since I was 14, ended at 17. Thank you for teaching me how to role play and for the clothes at IMVU… I’ll treasure them. I hope that one day we can enjoy a cup of coffee at a cafe and meet for the first time as friends. See you around, Neil.


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